Friday, November 21, 2014

Forgiving yourself

We all make mistakes. No..Scratch that..We all get ourselves into situations that seemed like a good thing at the time we made the decision. We work off the information that we have at the time we make the decision. Once we realize what happened, we get down on ourselves. We get upset. We kick ourselves for being so stupid. We think about what would have happened if we had done things differently. We live in Regret. It eats at us until we just can't handle it anymore. Everyone deals with this differently. Most of us deal with it by being destructive to us and those around us...

This topic popped into my mind because I was thinking of the advice I received recently. I was on the bus talking with this gentleman in his 50s. He was telling me his life story. In the midst of the conversation, I said "I hope to have as much Wisdom as you do when I get to be your age". He responds with "The way you gain Wisdom is by learning how to forgive yourself". This may not seem like much, but it blew my mind. If you think about it, that is why most of us stay where we are. We don't ever stop and say " I messed up. I understand it comes with life and learning. I forgive myself for making that decision and I am moving on". It's simple to say, but complicated to do because once you forgive yourself, you have to stop living in that moment. You have to stop playing the tape in your mind over and over again. You have to stop being a victim. We need to treat it like we do with information we learn in School. You know what I mean. We learn it, study it to get a good grade on a test, but we forget it the minute we move on to the new topic. We need to study it to learn what we need to learn from the situation, but then move on.

We don't need to keep reminding ourselves of the unfortunate decision we made. We need to let it go and let God use it for good. Our unfortunate decision will become our testimony when we learn to forgive ourselves. Think about any one of the men and women of the bible. Every one of them made an unfortunate decision. From Abraham to Moses to David and onto Paul. But  God was able to take their unfortunate decisions and use them to not only make them better people, but to also give us some help on how to let go. Paul made the decision to persecute Christians. Paul is created with penning the majority of the New Testament. King David made the decision to have a man killed to take his wife. David is known to be a man after God's own heart. Moses killed a man, then had to go back to the scene of the crime in order to go get the Israelites. He led them out of slavery to the Promised Land. I believe that in the above situations, as well as others throughout the Bible, that if they hadn't forgiven themselves for their decisions, they wouldn't have been able to do what God destined them to do.

Are you keeping you from your destiny because you cannot forgive yourself for an unfortunate decision? Are you prolonging your pain and suffering because you can't forgive yourself? Are you replaying the tape in your mind over and over again? It was an unfortunate decision. Stop playing the tape and forgive yourself. You have too much to get done to keep dwelling on your unfortunate decision.


What is your relationship?

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